The Softening Season: Making Peace With Grief and the Metal Element

Leave a Comment / Mental Health, Qigong, Spirit, Wellness / By

How letting yourself soften through grief can restore strength, clarity, and inner balance.

This may not be a popular opinion, but I’ll share it anyway: grief is an undervalued emotion. In my own life, as I’ve come to terms with the fact that everything has a beginning and an end, I’ve looked to nature to help me navigate the complexity of cherishing something that is no longer with me. What I’ve found is an intense sense of love, support, and resiliency that comes from maintaining connection outward from oneself while also dealing with an inner sense of loss that pulls you inward.

Allow me to share a lesson that reinforced this, just yesterday.

My mother, whom I’m lucky to be very close to, was in the hospital. I won’t go into details, but you can assume it’s a scary and sucky thing to worry about the future and wonder what role your mother will play in it. As I drove the two hours home, I felt myself becoming silent within. My awareness went inward. I pictured getting home and hiding away from everyone. The idea of being touched, talked to, or interacted with in any way felt overwhelming.

I could feel my energy dropping, my breath becoming shallow, my skin almost drying with the effort of carrying this emotional weight.

Thankfully, my self-awareness muscle gets regular workouts. I noticed what I was doing. I asked myself to think of times when connection, I mean the real, meaningful connection types, lifted me into lightness and freedom.

When I arrived home, I was still fighting to soften. I sat in the driveway and breathed deeply. I let my mind and body relax. I released my sense of control and decided that whatever waited inside, conversation or quiet, I would meet it without resistance.

Inside, a warm hug greeted me. A rose-scented bath called my name. Two dogs nearly knocked me over with their love and excitement. Over the next few hours, I unwound. I talked. I let sadness move through me instead of fortifying inside me. As it rolled off, space opened up for something else: a realization that everything continues, beginning, ending, beginning again, along one continuous path.  For me, that means the next chapter of my mom’s health journey is starting and that means opportunity.

I felt a deep gratitude for that. And I’ve carried it into today.

Why It Matters

This is the Metal season, a time of downward energy. You can see it everywhere.  Leaves falling, temperatures dropping, even the sun angling lower in the sky. This visible release mirrors the internal shedding we’re called to do. I love when nature sends me a very loud visual telegram like this, reminding me what shift I need to be making internally to stay aligned with the seasons.  With all of these visual cues though, this season can awaken ancient, unresolved grief or reminds us of losses we still carry.

These emotions matter. They honor what once held a place in our lives. But when we struggle to accept loss, grief and sadness can linger for long periods, creating stagnation in both body and mind.  This my friends, is not great for your mind, body, spirit wellness.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, unprocessed grief is stored in the Lungs and Large Intestine. Over time, this can show up as:

• heaviness in the chest
• shallow breathing
• respiratory challenges
• constipation or digestive tension
• dry skin or skin irritation

While Western medicine gives us tools to treat symptoms, TCM offers a deeper question: How can I help my whole system – body, mind, and spirit – rebalance from within?

When I’m struggling with grief and sadness, I turn to the Metal Element. I look to Qigong. I open my chest with chest opening movements and deep breathwork to strengthen lung capacity. I stretch the Large Intestine meridian to support release and ease digestion. I look to nature to remind me that shedding is not so much a loss, it’s preparation for renewal.

And, as we learned through my story, I nurture my spirit by allowing myself to soften into connection rather than shrinking away from it.

This is why that rose-scented bath mattered yesterday. Rose is a scent that softens rigidity, opens the heart, and gently eases downward energy so it can move rather than stagnate.  It also smells amazing and we joke in the house that it’s my “signature scent”.

There are two types of loss, sadness and grief I’d like to acknowledge.  The big and the small.  It’s not always tied to losing a loved one, it can also be a loss of identity as we transition through the many changes life brings to us.  We want to work to process all of these because they each bring value into our journey.  

Finally, there is no fixed timeline for reclaiming balance after a loss. Some losses carry deeper roots. They deserve respect. I ask you to trust that with time, and with support, know that grief does soften. And as it softens, our ability to move forward with ease will return.  

I leave you with one last consideration to demonstrate the value of releasing what no longer serves you – How hard would it be to get through just one day if you had to hold onto everything you picked up?

Supercharged Takeaways

If you’d like to use the tools of Qigong and Chinese Medicine to nourish and activate your Metal Element, consider these practices:

1. Use Breath to Move Emotion

Take slow, deep inhales through the nose and long exhales through the mouth. Let each exhale be a release, a softening.

2. Practice Chest-Opening Qigong

Movements like “Lotus Rising Through Muddy Water” or gentle arm sweeps expand the chest, support the lungs, and help grief move.

3. Support the Large Intestine Meridian

Stretch through the arms and forearms. Gentle twisting and side bends help release stagnation in the digestive pathway.

4. Lean Into Seasonal Foods

Metal element foods include:

  • Pears & Apples
  • Cauliflower
  • Turnips & Radishes
  • Onions
  • Ginger
  • White Beans

These naturally moisten, warm, and support the lungs and large intestine.

5. Invite Softness Through the Senses

  • Scents such as rose, sandalwood, and eucalyptus support emotional release.  
  • Sounds like wind chimes or metal-toned music harmonize Metal energy.
  • Textures like warm blankets or soft cotton can help the body settle.

6. Stay Connected to Something Larger

Grief isolates; connection unravels that contraction.

  • Allow someone to hug you.
  • Let someone sit with you.
  • Look at the sky.
  • Lean into nature.
  • Remember – This is part of the healing.

Dive Deeper

Links & Resources

Remember, it’s all about taking small, meaningful steps towards a happier, healthier you, Full Color.
— Kat

Related Posts

Scroll to Top